How to Reclaim Your Life After Sexual Trauma

Sexual trauma can occur at any age and to any gender, but it's important to remember that you are not alone. While you may feel scared, angry, hopeless, or ashamed, remember that you are not to blame for what happened. You can reclaim your life after experiencing sexual trauma. Take control of your life by processing your sexual trauma and by working through your triggers. You should also lean on the support systems around you, such as family and friends, and consider getting professional help to allow you to regain a hold on your life.

Reframe your sexual trauma. Perhaps on the biggest first steps to reclaiming your life is admitting you experienced sexual trauma. There is a stigma attached to sexual trauma, and it may make you feel weak or dirty. But staying silent will only reinforce your victimhood and make it more difficult to recover. Instead, you should try to reframe your experience of sexual trauma and open up about what really happened to you. Owning your story can feel powerful.

·         You may start by writing down your experience in a journal or a diary. Putting your experience down on paper can help you get a better sense of what happened and come to terms with your sexual trauma.

·         As you start to reframe your sexual trauma, you may decide to also share your story with others around you that you trust and feel will support you. Doing this can help you process your experience.

Assign responsibility to the person who traumatized you. Another part of processing your sexual trauma is assigning responsibility to the person who deserves it: your abuser. Doing this can help you deal with feelings of guilt and shame around the sexual trauma. You are not responsible for what happened to you and you are not to blame. Be willing to assign responsibility to your abuser and not to yourself.

·         You may do this by writing down your feelings of guilt and shame in a journal or diary. You may also find it helps to repeat out loud to yourself, “I am not to blame” or “I am not responsible for my sexual trauma.”

Focus on yourself. It is important to take care of yourself both physically and emotionally after trauma. It is ok to take some time to focus on your own healing and emotions. Do not feel guilty or ashamed of taking this time.

·         Choose activities and hobbies that make you feel positive about yourself. This might be a creative outlet, such as writing or drawing, or it might be a physical activity, such as soccer or dance.

·         Surround yourself with loving, supportive friends and family. You may need to cut out toxic personalities during this time.

·         Reduce your commitments and obligations during this time. When you are ready, you can reach out to other people in need and help them. Interacting with others in a helpful, productive way may help you process your trauma and move past it.