How to Seek Psychotherapy for Sexual Problems

 

Ask for a referral. To seek psychotherapy for sexual issues, start with your normal doctor and ask for a referral to a therapist. You doctor may already know of a nearby practice or specific doctors to recommend. If not, she may still be able to help you find a suitable therapist.[1]
·         Close family members may also have ideas. You might feel more confident about a therapist if you have a recommendation from a loved one.
·         Feel free to ask close friends for referrals or suggestions, as well. You don’t need to say what the issue is, merely that you’re looking for a therapist. The same goes for recommendations from other trusted figures.

Look for a licensed therapist on your own. You can also try personally locating a psychotherapist in your area, either online or by consulting local mental health resources. Some websites like Psychology Today can direct you to therapist finders and search engines. Otherwise, look into nearby hospitals and professional organizations.
·         Try online databases, as said. These resources will often provide a bit more information than the phone book, like the therapist’s experience, degrees, and specializations.
·         Many states and localities have professional psychological associations, too. Consider calling and asking for a specialist in sexual issues.
·         Try your community mental health center for more suggestions or, if possible, a nearby university or college department of psychology.

Ask plenty of questions before settling. Fit is important in finding the right therapist, especially for sensitive sexual issues. You don’t need to settle for the first therapist you meet. Instead, be ready to ask questions to establish that the therapist is qualified to help you, that you are comfortable with her, and that you’re willing to work together.[5]
·         Make sure that the therapist is licensed. It may help to follow up by asking how long he or she has been in practice.
·         Ask about the therapist’s areas of expertise. Say, “I’m feeling anxious/depressed/not myself and am having some sexual problems. What experience do you have working with these kinds of issues?” You should also ask about techniques and treatments.
·         Don’t forget to ask potential therapists about fees, i.e. how much they charge per session, as well as what forms of payment they accept. Will they accept your insurance, for example?


Begin to explore your “sexual story.” Once you’ve settled on a therapist, you’ll have to work together to get to the bottom of your sexual issues. Think of this as exploring your own “story.” Everyone has a sexual story – not just your sexual past but all the cultural, gender, familial, and personal baggage you carry related to sex. Chances are your therapist will try to locate the problem in underlying issues. 
·         Expect the therapist to ask about your home and work life. Are you experiencing stress or worry? Are you having trouble balancing the demands of work and family?
·         Is something from the past behind your intimacy problems? Were you raised to see sex as negative or bad, or did you experience a trauma?
·         Or maybe you are preoccupied with a big event in life – a death, the birth of children, a divorce, or a layoff from work? This might explain lack of desire or interest in sex, among other things.


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