How to Deal with Erectile Dysfunction in a Relationship




Empathize with each other. Erectile dysfunction can affect each partner. If you’re the partner with ED, recognize that changes to sex might be alarming or different for your partner. If you’re the partner to someone with ED, recognize how they might feel about their dysfunction and how that might affect their self-esteem or desire to engage in sex. Be loving and empathetic to one another and recognize each other’s struggles.
·         While this experience may be hard on you, it’s likely hard on your partner as well. Show them that you understand (or want to understand) and support them.

Avoid blaming yourself or your partner. Blame is not something that will help you or your partner feel better or perform better. Avoid blaming yourself or wondering if your partner isn’t attracted to you, is cheating, or you’re not pleasing them. Often, dysfunction is linked with external factors such as medication or health influences, age, and stress.
·         If your partner suffers from ED, remember that the sexual dysfunction is likely not related to you. Don’t put undue pressure on yourself to improve your performance.

Take the pressure off performance. Putting sexual pressure on yourself or your partner to perform is rarely an effective method. Focus on other parts of your partner’s body and your own body. Do other intimate activities together that do not involve the genitals.
·         For example, agree to get naked together and pleasure one another, but not have sex or involve the penis. Take turns blindfolded and explore each other’s bodies through different senses and touch.
·         You could also give each other full-body massages with massage oil. Avoid concentrating on the genitals, and instead just circle around the area.

Increase physical intimacy in other ways. Physical intimacy isn’t just sex and doesn’t only involve the genitals. Hold each other and cuddle regularly as a way to physically connect, with or without clothes on.[4] Deeply hug each other, hold hands, and kiss passionately! Take the pressure off sex and purely enjoy physical touch and connection.
·         Focus on giving pleasure to one another without having to use the genitals. For example, kiss your partner’s body, caress them gently, and make the activity only about intimate touching without the expectation of sex.


Be supportive in treatment. If your partner is interested and willing to treat their ED, be supportive in them seeking treatment. This might mean encouraging them to make a medical appointment or consider changing or adding medications. If your partner is already seeking treatment, show your support for them without putting them down or making fun of them. Ask them what support they want or need.
·         Whatever steps your partner is doing (or thinking of doing), show your support.
·         For example, attend medical appointments with your partner as support if they want you to or ask you to.




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