How to Help Someone with Depression

Depression is debilitating torture for anyone who suffers it. It causes feelings of intense sadness and hopelessness, low self-esteem and in some cases, suicidal thoughts, ideation and even suicide attempts. If you know someone close to you that is suffering from this cruel illness, it can be difficult, confusing, and saddening for the both of you. You want to be able to help your loved one, but you may not know how. You may not even know the right things to say and do. If you are looking for some ways to help someone cope with depression, these tips are exactly what you need.

Watch for symptoms. If you suspect your loved one has depression, take stock of his behavior to get a sense of his level of depression. Make a list of the symptoms that you notice.

·         Frequent, prolonged, and/or seemingly unprovoked sadness

·         Lost interest or pleasure in things that were once enjoyed

·         Significant loss of appetite and/or weight

·         Overeating and/or weight gain

·         Disrupted sleep patterns (either unable to sleep or sleeping too much)

·         Fatigue and/or loss of energy

·         Increased agitation or decreased movement noticeable by others

·         Feelings of worthlessness and/or excessive guilt

·         Difficulty concentrating or feeling uncertain

·         Recurrent thoughts of death or suicide, attempting suicide or having a plan for suicide

·         These symptoms may last for 2 weeks or more. They may stop and come back again. These are called “recurrent episodes.” In this case, the symptoms are more than just a “bad day.” They are a severe change in mood that affects the way someone functions in everyday life.

·         If your friend has had a death in the family or another traumatic event, she may exhibit depressive symptoms and not be clinically depressed.

Have a conversation with your loved one about their depression. Once you have recognized that your loved one is suffering from depression, you should be honest and have an open conversation with that person. 

·         If your loved one won't admit that there is a serious problem at hand, he will have a hard time getting better. Or you can talk to another close, trustable friend or relative about the person facing depression. They might handle these things better.

Explain that depression is a clinical disorder. Depression is a medical condition that can be diagnosed by a doctor. It also can be treatable. Reassure your loved one that the depression they’re feeling is real.

Be firm. Make it clear that you are worried about your friend. Don't let her brush it off by saying she's just having "a bad month.” If your friend tries to change the subject, steer the conversation back to her emotional state but if she/he gets aggressive (openly hesitates to talk) about it drop the subject. Find another appropriate time to talk about this.

Don't be confrontational. Remember that your loved one is suffering from an emotional problem and is in a very vulnerable state. Though it's important to be firm, don't come off too strong in the beginning.

·         Don’t start by saying, "You're depressed. How are we going to deal with it?" Instead, start off with: "I've noticed that you've been pretty down lately. What do you think has been going on?"

·         Be patient. It takes a while for a person to open up sometimes, so give it as much time as they need. Just try not to let him blow off the conversation.

Know that you can’t “fix” the depression. You probably want to help your friend as much as you can. But there's no simple way to "fix" depression. You can encourage her to get help, and you can be there for her. Ultimately, however, it's up to your friend to want to get better.

Discuss the next steps. Once your friend recognizes that he is depressed, you can talk about ways to start addressing it. Does he want to talk to a counselor? Does he want to see a doctor about a prescription treatment? Is there any aspect of his life that's beating him down? Is he dissatisfied with his life or lifestyle?