How to Gain Confidence

 

Do you wish you were more confident? Gaining confidence is possible. Most experts agree that self-confidence is a combination of self-esteem and self-efficacy. Start believing in yourself, your abilities, and your goals. This will help you cope with problems and stressors while boosting your confidence. Have a positive attitude, set measurable goals for yourself, and keep company with other confident and supportive people. You'll be well on your way to developing your own self-confidence.

List your strengths. This is a simple task that will help you get into a self-positive mindset, which is essential to maintaining confidence. Yes, you have areas that need improving, everybody does, but often, a lack of confidence comes from a lack of self-esteem. Listing the positives in your life can help you get past the minor negatives. Here are some things you could include:

·         Talents or skills: This doesn't have to be competitive. It only means that you see yourself as talented or skillful in some area, like athletics, art, business, or creativity.

·         Personality traits: Note anything about your personality that you take pride in. For example, you might see yourself as hard working, caring, or imaginative.

·         Accomplishments: These are things you've achieved that you're proud of. Maybe you performed in a concert, spoke in front of an audience, baked a birthday cake, or ran in a race.

Understand your lack of self-confidence. Frequently, this develops when you don't feel supported or listened to by people in your life. This often begins in early childhood and stems from family interactions. Maybe your parents were overly critical, harsh or punishing. This can prevent the development of self-confidence and create worried, hesitant, and fearful adults who lack a sense of self. On the other hand, parents who overprotect their children, also do them a disservice by not allowing them to try, fail, try again, and finally succeed. The adult version is afraid to try anything new for fear of failure.

·         For example, if your parents always criticized your efforts in school, you may grow up believing you aren’t smart or that you can’t possibly succeed in life. You may believe that others think you aren’t smart or hardworking.

·         Or, if your parents never let you go anywhere by yourself as a child, for fear you would get lost or kidnapped, you may have a difficult time as an adult going to unfamiliar places. In truth, failure or getting lost is what helps us learn.

Write down what kind of confidence you want to gain. Do you want to build confidence in speaking to people? In public speaking? Write down the areas in which you want to build self-confidence. This can make your plan to gain confidence clearer.

·         For example, you may note that you want to speak to the class during a group project. Or, write down that you'd like to be more confident when playing a group sport or doing an activity.

Make a simple action plan. Once you know what area you'd like to gain confidence in, decide specifically how you'll increase your self-confidence. You may want to write down the steps of your action plan. Start small and gradually work your way up to more challenging situations or interactions.

·         For example, write that you want to start a conversation with at least one person today. Or, ask one question in a class or group setting. Then practice by talking with more people or asking more questions. Practicing is a vital part of gaining confidence.

·         You may plan on interviewing for three new jobs in the next year or applying to two new schools. Or, your action plan may be smaller. Maybe your goal is to go out with friends once a week or take a class that you're interested in.

Set small and measurable goals. Make sure your goals are broken down into detailed steps. This way, you'll be able to track your progress. You'll also feel more confident with these accomplishments. Make sure the goals are manageable and achievable.

·         For example, a measurable goal with several steps might be something like this, "Steps: train 6 months, then run a half-marathon, train for another 3 months. Goal: run a full marathon."

·         Make sure to write down and schedule your goals. This will increase your chances of achieving them. If you're struggling, revise the goal or consider what you've learned before moving on.